


Unacceptable

by Laura_Sinele



Series: Fictober 2020 [5]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Bickering, Boys In Love, Explicit Language, Harry Hart is a Little Shit, M/M, Merlin is a Little Shit (Kingsman), Mutual Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Teasing, Young Harry Hart, Young Merlin (Kingsman)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26825050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laura_Sinele/pseuds/Laura_Sinele
Summary: Harry is beginning to suspect that Merlin gets off of making him repeat this bloody obstacle race.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin
Series: Fictober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951714
Kudos: 20
Collections: Fictober20





	Unacceptable

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Tumblr event Fictober, prompt 5: 'Unacceptable, try again'.
> 
> Rated Teen and Up for swear-words and bad language. But it might be too explicit? But this is Kingsman, so its kinda classy maybe? I don't know, it might very well be because I swear like a sailor and I've lost track of which amount of explicit language is acceptable at any given age and context, but I'd be really really sorry if I didn't warn you and you felt uncomfortable reading it. 
> 
> I wrote some pre-canon for these two for last Fictober, I think this could fit nicely in the same timeline (go check in my works if you like, I've forgotten again how to put links here). 
> 
> Also, Hamish is apparently Merlin's canonical real name, without any last name mentioned. My headcanon is that it's Blackwood, because I found it in a list of Scottish last names when I was looking for on that didn't soun too stereotypical, AND Lord Blackwood is Mark Strong's character in Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes. I love me an obscure multi-tiered reference.

Climb up a fifteen feet tall naked brick wall. Jump down the other side. Crawl for twenty feet in the mud under barbed wire. Go through half a mile of head to toe turnstiles made of splinter-covered tree trunks. Swim across the icy lake, free style. Capture the flag before the others do. Run downhill, dodging rocks and trees. Remember to skip over the wire that activates the landmines ahead. Avoid the landmines anyway, because who fucking knows in this goddamn circus of a training process. Jump into the cattle enclosure and manage to jump out the other side without the alpha male raging bull noticing you. Sprint through the garden —each damaged flowerbed would add one second to the final time—, climb the stairs up to the terrace in the back of the manor, and give Merlin the stupid, bloody rag they’d been killing each other for. 

‘42 minutes, 38 seconds’, Merlin says after stopping the chronometer. ‘Unacceptable, try again’. 

Harry yanks the flag from Merlin’s hand and tries to push it into his mouth. Merlin docks and tackles him, and sends him flying over his shoulder. Harry stands up immediately and assumes a left guard, but Merlin knows Harry’s practically ambidextrous, so he laughs, mirrors him and invites him to start the fight with a hand gesture. Harry lounges at him but then he stops a step short. Merlin has a determined look in his eyes. When he sees Harry stop on his tracks he knows he has won this round, and a mocking half smile creeps into his face. 

‘Yes, sir’, says Harry with all the dignity he can summon, and walks off to his fourth attempt. 

He’s finished first every time, and the number of aspirants racing against him is now down to zero. But Merlin says his time is unacceptable, and Harry does try again. 

‘40 minutes, 3 seconds. Still not—’

‘Hamish’, cuts Harry as he takes the flag from Merlin’s hand way more delicately this time, and rubs the dirt, sweat and blood off his face and hands, ‘do you get a hard-on from this?’

Merlin is usually serious, stern, blunt, matter-of-fact. A paragon of stoicism as it becomes to the head of intelligence of Kingsman. Hamish, on the other hand, is a just out of training blushing virgin with a massive crush on Harry since the day they met. Not that Harry has any proof. Not that Harry wouldn’t return the feeling if that were the case. But he is pissed, tired and battered enough to risk their intimate, platonic relationship by pushing that particular button. And so Hamish stutters. 

‘That is most inappropriate, mister Hart!’.

Emboldened by his apparent success, Harry zips his jumpsuit open down to his waist and takes off his undershirt, making a show of scrubbing the sweat off his naked torso with it. Hamish pushes his glasses up and seems to be incapable to find a place to lay his eyes on, until he settles on the ground. 

‘That is very inap… Mister Hart, you shouldn’t…It’s against the rules to… flirt… with colleagues...’, his otherwise deep, commanding voice sounds so small now, and he is blushing like a schoolboy. Harry is delighted. 

He drops his undershirt in a heap on the ground and walks up to Hamish until they’re almost chest to chest. 

‘Trying to tell me something, Merlin?’, he says softly. ‘I can’t understand any word you said, you’ll have to speak up and vocalise’.

Harry can swear Hamish whimpers at that, still not lifting his eyes off the floor. Enjoying every moment of it, Harry leans in to whisper in his ear:

‘Unacceptable, try again’.

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
